It’s the End of the World As We Know It, And I Feel Fine

(Apologies to R.E.M.)

I sat out in the back yard on the bench, with a glass of wine and my binoculars, and was sorely disappointed.

I reasoned that those ascending in the Rapture would leave Earthly things behind — including clothing, naturally. I was prepared to enjoy the view — surely some of the chosen would be comely ladies! Alas, not a one did I spy.

Perhaps I live in a particularly wicked neighborhood. It’s the only explanation I can come up with.

— Frenulum