Schadenfreude

Only thing better than having the Evil Empire swept in the postseason?

Watching it happen with $114,000,000 of no-trade-clause sitting on the bench.

Thanks, A-Roid, you made the season enjoyable after all.

Passing grade

“You got an A in phyics.”

“Yeah?”

“So now, Mom and Dad expect me to get an A in physics.”

“Ok, so… study hard or something.”

“Oh, knock it off. How did you even pass? It’s hard.”

“Well… is Morrison still teaching it?”

“Yeah. The strictest, meanest bastard in the whole stupid place.”

“You can get an A, then, if it’s him.”

“How?”

“Come into my room, I’ll show you.”

“Oh my god, what’s that?”

“Take your clothes off.”

“What? Are you — you are, you’re serious.”

“Strip. Get on the bed on all fours.”

“But, but — I…”

“Naked, on the bed, on elbows and knees, right now, and I’ll show you how to get an A in physics.”

“I, um — what’s that?”

“Lube.”

“Lube?”

“Yeah. So this will fit in your asshole.”

“My — my —”

“Trust me, little sister. You want an A? This is how I got mine.”

“Oh god stop stop stop that hurts!”

“This? This is nothing. This is just a little toy cock. This is nothing compared to Mr. Morrison. He is fucking huge.”

“Aaaaaaa!!!!”

“Oh, by the way? You’ll need to pay up in advance for every grade. Before every quiz, midterm, final, lab project…”

“There's — aaaaaaa!! a quiz — aaaaaa! every week! Oh god would you get that thing out of my bottom?”

“I know, little sis. I said you could get an A. I did not say an ‘easy A’.”