Treatment

“Doctor.”

“Hello, how are you doing?”

“Pretty well, I guess.”

“What brings you to see me?”

“I, uh, I have this… kind of a localized inflammation. It’s — not painful, exactly, but uncomfortable.”

“Let’s take a look… Yes, I see. Is this tender or sensitive?”

“Definitely sensitive.”

“Ok, nothing to be worried about. This is not an abnormal condition, and we should be able to treat it and give you some relief.”

“Oh, good, that’s good to hear.”

“The inflammation is caused because these blood vessels… here…and here… have constricted, so that there’s more blood flowing into the area than out of it. That causes the swelling, and your sensitivity is a side effect.”

“I see. You’re not — I mean, you don’t have to let the blood out or anything like that, do you?”

“No. Generally we like to use a combination of heat, moisture, compression, and massage. Given time, that will cause a certain tension crisis, after which the constricted vessels relax and allow the swelling to decrease.”

“How long will that take?”

“Usually ten to twenty minutes, but I think in your case we should see results in five minutes or less.”

“Oh, that’s great. When can you start the procedure?”

“Right away.”

“And, um, this… what did you call it… tension crisis? Will that be —”

“All over my face, please, Sir.”

“My favorite outcome.”

“Mmmhmmmmm. Mmmine ath welww.”

“Ahhhhhh… that feels better already…”

— Frenulum