Strictly enforced

Dear Graduates-to-be,

Congratulations once again on your success! The faculty, staff, and I look forward to celebrating your wonderful achievement at Commencement this Saturday. The event marks a significant milestone in your life.

I regret to say that, over the past few years, we have noticed an increase in poor behavior during Commencement. A few reminders are therefore necessary:

- Respect the solemnity of the occasion!

- No variations to the graduation regalia, in particular, no decoration of the mortarboard cap

- No choreographed demonstrations or displays, by groups or individuals

- No signs or banners

- Show appreciation through applause only — no shouting!

- Ladylike behavior at all times. Remember, you are now representing the Academy to the world

In addition, please make it very clear to your family and other supporters that when your name is announced, they are not to conduct any demonstration, including shouting your name, blowing air horns, and so forth. These outbursts are disruptive and delay the ceremony for everyone else.

This year, for the first time, we will issue pink slips to students whose behavior is unsuitable. Furthermore, disruptions by family and friends will also result in a pink slip *for the student*. Mr. Ross will be keeping Room Six, the discipline office, open on Saturday. To ensure your attention to this matter, diplomas will be withheld while any pink slips are outstanding.

Let’s have a wonderful Commencement, and celebrate your success with the dignity you deserve.

Mrs. Rachel B------, Dean of Students

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Several girls gathered to discuss the email. There was a great deal of shared disappointment over thwarted plans.

“Hey, I have an idea,” said one Senior, Meghan. “You know Krissy?”

Provoking the inevitable question, “Chrissie with a C or Krissy the bitch?”

“Krissy the bitch,” Meghan responded, the other girl being well-liked.

“Ok, what, then?”

“We all tell our families that K-the-B has won some sort of special honor — I don’t know, top student or something — and that they should all cheer out loud when her name is read.”

“But —”

“But exactly,” Meghan said, as smiles began to dawn all around.

— Frenulum