Her first attempt

“Oh my god. It’s huge!”

“I told you. You probably figured I was exaggerating.”

“I did. But you actually understated it. I can hardly fit it in my hands. There’s no way, seriously, that it’ll fit in my mouth. I mean… just look at it… bigger than my face for sure.”

“I just asked you to try, just once. I know it’ll be a stretch, and take some… enthusiastic effort. But it’s not like I’m asking you to swallow the whole thing on your first try.”

“My mouth doesn’t open that far. My jaw doesn’t open that far!”

“Here… I’ll hold it. Just open up your pretty little mouth and let me feed it to you — just a little bit at first.”

“Ok. Here goes…”

“Oh, good girl! See, you can do it! Just a tiny bit more now…”

“My mous is so ull I an’t reathe!”

“Breathe later. Enjoy this moment.”

I let go with one hand. I stole a couple of waffle fries from her plate.

“I told you. They don’t call it the Five Monsters Burger for nothing.”

— Frenulum