In a comment on another post, reader hecate wondered about whether men and women were equally socialized not to discuss sexual topics. I can offer some perspective on that.
[Stipulation: people who write to me are a self-selected subset of the population, and generalizations based on their behavior are not statistically sound.]
I assume it to be common that people masturbate while they read erotica. That’s why they choose to read erotica rather than, say, baseball stats, I think it’s safe to (generally) say.
The men who write to me almost never allude to this. They comment on the plot, or a character, or the nice editing job. And the very rare times the subject does come up (groan), it's usually a mention that the story was entrancing enough that it stopped being a wank session. One fellow wrote, very sincerely apologetic, “I’m sorry I didn’t cum, I got so caught up in the story. I hope you don’t mind.”
The women who write to me almost always mention masturbating and cumming. I get detailed accounts of which plot points or even individual phrases got them off; I get shame-free tales of soggy panties and spotted skirts and puddled chairs; I get told that they are making their keyboard sticky but that there’s no point in washing up since “I am going to read it again and cum some more.”
So perhaps women are not socialized to discuss their sexuality in public. But when they have a safe, private outlet for it, they do not hold back.
Which, by the way, is kinda hot. Thank you, ladies!
— Frenulum
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