Yesterday I posted a [MC] story-fragment that reader Sirsgirl1630 rightly characterized as “creepy.”
Mind Control is a genre that practically invites bad writing, including some of mine. It tends to take character, motivation, emotion, thought, principle, and frankly interest out of the story. Guy has unlimited power, picks attractive girls, has sex with them... ok, if you’re not a fan of hydraulics, nothing to see here.
I think my story The Girl on the Train is bad [MC]. It is find-girl-fuck-girl idiocy — no narrative interest at all. Its justification is that it embodies the standard male fantasy of being able to choose anyone attractive without courtship, without merit, without earning her.
Absolutely True is a little bit better, in that there is at least some emotional investment, but it is still pretty shallow.
Checkout is, if I may be so bold, decent [MC] — because there is restraint, conflict, thoughtfulness, and consideration for the eventual victim. Yes, victim, for [MC] is rape, let us not shy away from that.
I think that the key to good [MC] writing is to provide limits, or costs. “Oh she’s cute I think I’ll take her home because I can” is a shallow, facile story... Like the flash On the Menu I just posted. There should be limits on the [MC] power, or consequences for using it, or some emotional trade-off to make it interesting.
I have one [MC] WIP that I think has potential... and it has been brewing for about seven years... Well, maybe some day.
— Frenulum
Hmmmm. I agree that MC stories can be shallow or just plain creepy. Although "Train" lacks limits on his part, I disagree that it's bad writing. The strength of "Train" is in your description of his thoughts and her fear. When I read it, I felt fear, frustration, disgust and the need to scream at her to get away from him. I felt her terror at this monster who had turned his evil attention on her innocence. I felt despair at her inability to fight back. If she had been "zombified" it would have fallen flat. It was the fact that she KNEW what was happening, was filled with fear and panic but unable to fight back, that made me respond to the story so viscerally. It was knowing that monsters like that--minus the MC, thank goodness--really stalk innocent young ladies. So I respectfully disagree with you. It is good work. Creepy, yes, but good work nonetheless.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind review. By considering it as a story of terror you have managed to find some good points.
ReplyDeleteThere are men who live solely for the next conquest; whose thoughts turn at the moment intimacy is won to the next potential target. We have all known some, I daresay, and watched in horror as yet another woman succumbed to their scheming and falsehood. As you say, thank goodness that MC powers are not theirs to employ.
Mind control outside of fiction exists only, as far as I know, in the context of a loving, moral, respectful, owner/submissive relationship. Its use there is both consensual and delightful.