My public language is pristine; no friend or colleague has ever heard me use any of the common taboo words that seem to spill with increasing ease from more and more mouths. I find it terribly rude, for one thing, the verbal equivalent of spitting on the carpet every few seconds; for another, I consider it to be a sort of broadcast IQ test, the verbal tic acting as a gauge of one’s limited imagination and vocabulary.
But mostly I refrain because overuse blunts the words, and they have an exciting place in the bedroom. Words like fuck and pussy and cocksucker are spicy and interesting, playful and arousing, between intimates at intimate times. But if they have been worn to dullness — if the guy who won’t take your dare is a pussy, if the car that merges too close is driven by a cocksucker, if every fucking sentence is fucking full of fucking noise — then there is no vocabulary left for playtime. No chance of a little thrill by whispering something racy and private.
Finally, here is what perplexes me endlessly. Why do women ever date men who talk like this? Many do, you know. It absolutely mystifies me.
— Frenulum
P.S. I typed the title “Vocabulary” and then wrote a completely different post than I intended to. Mystery number two is how my mind works, if “works” is even a fair description of it.
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ReplyDeletePerhaps women date men whose language fails to be pristine because women often give men a benefit of the doubt. It works against our interests to an extent; but sometimes overlooking certain things, like coarse language, is worth it.
ReplyDeleteI have two friends who have now been married for twenty plus years; they married her last year in high school. She told me a few years ago that if she had let his language hinder her interest, they wouldn't have married. He's about five years older than she, and at the time he was a rough and tumble cop in the South. Today, with time and, perhaps an educational shift, he's a partner is a prestigious law firm and they are happy together. His language in no longer inappropriate, although his siblings that I have met still seem to fall into the bad habit of peppering conversation with "F-bombs."
Interesting perspective, Hecate, thanks for the contribution.
ReplyDeleteOne place I notice this a lot is at the ballpark. I’ll hear from behind me something like “I left all my shit over at fucking Tom’s apartment, and the motherfucker forgot to bring it today.” With every sentence along the same lines. And when I look... I find a college-age couple, and I think: Really, Miss? 20,000 guys to choose from (given your appearance) and this is your choice?
Sure, he may have other good qualities — but wasn't there one offer from a man with good qualities who didn’t sound like a sewer runs through his mouth?
Well, anyway... a peeve. I don’t keep pets, so it’s just a peeve.